Learning.

God is teaching me several things at the moment. He is teaching me that I really must have honest accountability in my life. He is teaching me that I must step out and live in faith. He is teaching me that if I am to be in sustained ministry i must be willing to not live the "sprinting headless chicken" viper assassin. Okay, so i'm a workaholic. I realize that. I don't like being a workaholic and I'm not exactly sure what in my psychy makes me this way, but I am. I enjoy what I do and sometimes don't feel like I got anything accomplished. I love to see what happens in peoples' lives as they begin to seek God.

But all of that comes at a huge expense to me. Not monetarily. God has blessed me beyond belief monetarily...but family wise. My family cannot suffer at the hands of my addiction to work. And if I call a spade a spade, that's really what it is. I have this danger of prioritizing in a very wrong way my life.

I'm processing this and realize that there are many folks that deal with this tension in their own lives. And if we are honest about it, we know that we cannot sustain healthy Christian principles and lives living this incredible "rat race" that we call "a productive life." It will kill us. Tonight, we heard a guy talk about being weak in a time when he was running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He talked about other character assassins being evident in his life when he was too busy to really think. I must avoid this to honor my family and my God.

Help me to honor you in my job, in my relationships, in my life. God, give me the wisdom to understand how to balance. Amen.